Recently I suffered the misfortune of having to go to hospital for an extended period of time. If I had not checked myself in I almost certainly would have died. This experience has forced me to reflect death and to know it more intimately. Whilst I was in intensive care two people were taken out in body bags.
The first and most shocking realisation I had was that my death was a very real possibility and when it occurs is only partially in my control. The German philosopher Martin Heidegger thought our prevailing attitude towards death was inauthentic. What he meant by this is that we think of death as some distant phenomena that will never visit us, we only see death as happening to someone else. Even though I have studied Heidegger my attitude was still inauthentic, certain truths can only be learnt through experience.
With this new knowledge I have tried to reconsider what I am going to do with the time I have left. I would urge you dear reader to do the same. There is a darkness in such thoughts but also a chance for liberation.
Another hard question that my experience raised was how to find a balance between future and present orientated thinking. Because we can never be sure when we are going to die we might be tempted to make immediate preparation for the end. However, if we have many more years to live this would be unwise. How are we to find balance? The answer lies acting in harmony with this uncertainty mixing future and present desire together, exercising spontaneity and prudence in equal measure. I put this forward as an ideal goal rather than something that can be easily achieved.
It is equally unwise to dwell on death too long for as Nietzsche said:
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.
Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146